Once the honeymoon is over, couples resign themselves to the fact that love and affection alone will not solve the demands a dysfunctional family system brings to the partnership.  Aaron Beck, M.D. in his book, Love Is Never Enough, lists a few ingredients to build a solid healthy relationship:

• Cooperation:  Work, play and volunteer as a couple.  Make plans to accomplish a goal in your life and work together to fulfill it.
• Commitment:  After trust has been broken and repaired, each partner restates their commitment to the relationship, no matter what the difficulties.
• Basic Trust: Being dependable and available to your partner in the relationship is a critical ingredient for building a solid foundation.  Attitudes like: “I can depend on you to protect my best interests.” “I know you will not intentionally hurt me.” “I can assume good will on my spouse’s part.”
• Loyalty: Show a dedication to your partner’s interests.  Be there for support and stick up for them at all times.
• Fidelity: Stay faithful sexually, emotionally and spiritually.  This means no emotional or sexual relationships outside of a marriage.